An awesome birthday gift
My wife surprised me on my 40th by writing to all of my heroes and getting them to send excuses as to why they could not come out for a drink on my birthday. We had people like Stephen Fry, Bill Bailey, Tim Minchin, Hugh Laurie etc reply and it was awesome.
I have a whole bundle of these excuses (my wife asked them to be as ludicrous and obviously false as possible).
[..]
Here are some of the responses I got
In each case the letter (written by my wife with a space for them to fill in began thus:
“Dear Tim,
I’m really sorry that I won’t be able to make it for a quick drink to celebrate your birthday on 9th March, but I have already committed to…Stephen Fry
‘Filming with field agents of the Northern Border Patrol in Montana. This is entirely true - I leave for documentary filming in America on 8th March’Tim Minchin
‘Ever since Chantal’s birthday drinks last year I have been unable to look her in the eye, and I don’t think it will be comfortable for her if we’re in the same room together. My friends have only just stopped calling me “Rabbit Boy’ and besides, that date my plastic surgeon has me in for a third round of surgery’Bill Bailey
‘Going Ten Pin Bowling with UN General Secretary Ban-ki Moon - it’s the only day he can do apparently..Simon Pegg
‘Not reading your wife’s letter until a month after the event, which is a shame as I would definitely have come’Alan Davies
‘I would have come down but your slightly simple wife hasn’t told me where you’re going to be. Keep her away from the stamps’
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